‘Unplugged’ Update
I originally wrote this article on August 12, 2014. I went without the internet at home until January 2019 (six years).
Since January 2013, I haven’t had internet service in my home. I also deleted my personal and coaching Facebook accounts. I’ve been without a TV since February 2012.
I thought that getting rid of the internet and Facebook would ensure that I’d have real-life friendships and connections, that the people who I corresponded with on-line would begin to show up in my real-life—even just over the phone, and that we’d be more motivated to see each other and talk in real-life.
None of this has happened. Most of people who I interacted with on-line have slipped away.
I have a couple of people with whom I still email regularly because that just works for our relationships and because I get a lot out of our written interactions. I’d gladly see these people daily if it weren’t for proximity from each other.
Emailing people with summary-updates about my life is exhausting and uninteresting when they don’t show up and participate in my day-to-day life. I think my blog is a good summary of what’s going on with me.
Texting is a huge waste of my time and energy; and I usually end up annoyed and frustrated trying to communicate in random short phrases. I’d like to do without texting all together and just pick up the phone to say what needs to be said.
Doing without social media has made it undeniably-clear which relationships are authentic and match who I am today. After the initial disappointment over who no longer is in my life without my being plugged-in, I have felt much relief to really know and respect myself, my needs and my choices. There is space in my life if someone I’m interested in wants to step into it. Trusting that the people who are relevant and beneficial to me will be the ones who show-up in my life has made life so much easier and my relationship with myself and with my kids so much more fulfilling.
In December 2013, I caved in and got a smart phone. My rationale for switching over from my primitive flip-phone are these reasons: I wanted to be able to have an unlimited-long-distance phone for coaching calls since my basic landline doesn’t have free long-distance, I wanted to be able to check emails and look up businesses instead of having to go to a wifi spot every time, and the no-contract service ended up being cheaper than my pay-as-I-go flip-phone.
I’ve really enjoyed having a smart phone and don’t regret getting it. I’m practicing keeping the phone off more frequently and never on when I’m in bed. One reason is that I don’t want my kids and I exposed to the electromagnetic fields and radiofrequency radiation. Other reasons are these: I rarely am waiting for something time-sensitive: most voicemails, texts, and emails can wait until I check them hours later; I don’t want the mindless-twitch to look at my phone with no practical objective; and I like being a good example for my kids.
My main obsession regarding my smart phone occurs when I’m involved in a really interesting email discussion or my brain is swimming with ideas for writing or life-improvements and I want to look up something relevant to those thought rampages. But really, I don’t feel much of an addiction-itch these days.
I have a to-do spreadsheet which I divided in categories:
To do in real life
To do on the internet
To do at a location with a printer
To do at work
To do for coaching
So, when I think of something non-pressing that I want to research on the internet, I just add it to the spreadsheet. This way, when I’m at the library or other wi-fi spot with my laptop, I can look at the list and do something from it which makes better, more efficient use of my internet time.
If I have a long email or a blog post to write, I will write it on my laptop when I’m not on the internet. Later, I paste it into an email or my website. This is another method which keeps me from feeling tied to, and distracted with, the internet for long periods of time.
Around the time I got my smart phone, I also got an MP3 player. Being able to listen to podcasts, audio books, and music while I walk or do other individual activities has been a great use of my time—rather than being glued to a screen to watch youtube videos and audios.
With practice and intention, my need for the internet, and otherwise being plugged-in, has gone down significantly. Opting instead for borrowed hard-copy books, CDs, and DVDs as well as letting go of the frantic need to be in-the-know about ‘everything’ and ‘everyone’ has helped tremendously in minimizing internet and cell-phone use, as well as in being a minimalist in-general.
I’ve been much more at-peace and able to enjoy what is, and those who are, in front of me and to honor and nurture these relationships and experiences. I’ve been able to home in on things I really enjoy doing, and focus on making a peaceful home and life for my kids and me without being pulled this-way-and-that by that which really doesn’t support me, my intentions and my values.
How we live represents what we believe in, our values, and our priorities.
Warmly,