Loneliness Amongst Fans

I listened to a podcast hosted by a middle-aged, internationally-known singer. The guest on the show was a self-help speaker and author.

After discussing the guest’s expertise, the singer asked the guest for help pertaining an issue she, the singer, struggles with. I was surprised how emotional, speaking through crying, the singer was pertaining to the topic.

To summarize with my understanding of the discussion, the singer shared that she had thought being a celebrity would mean she would feel mutual connection with a lot of people. Instead, when she’s out in public, most people turn away, and don’t address or acknowledge her. She wants to tell the people that she and they are equals—thus connected. Instead, she feels depressed and disheartened.

As such, the singer has a fear of always being alone and dying as a lonely person.

I relate this to when I, years ago, would feel disheartened and rejected when strangers would not return my passing greeting. And I also remember my surprise when strangers weren’t concerned about running into me or my loved ones.

Once I had lived longer, I experienced plenty of days of being exhausted, overwhelmed, and stretched to my limits. Since I felt those ways, surely there were plenty of others who felt these things too.

While I always will support basic human respect (for example, if someone is in danger, seek help; or don’t mess with people’s bodies, things, and privacy; or provide job-related information as an employee), it’s not realistic to expect much more than that from people in whom we aren’t invested. And, really, it’s not realistic to think that we can be mutually-connected to all sorts of people on a superficial level. People are just too complex.

This is why I insist on deciding which people are in your inner circle and making the most important the most important. The reaped benefits for your efforts and focus include having a support team for yourself and for those in whom you invest.

To the famous singer, I would ask about her inner circle and her relationship with herself. What is missing? I would ask questions in order to, layer-by-layer, help her access the void she hoped to fill with strangers. And I would ask if she would consider re-writing the story (celebrity equals being connected and not lonely) which she likely invented early-on in her career, in her much-younger years, to a story which matches much closer to her wiser self today.

Do you need coaching? Please contact me. I’d love to help you.