Body Appreciation
I originally wrote this article on June 16, 2014.
When my kids are (rarely) sick, I massage them and I say a thank-you to their bodies. ‘Thank you, body, for being so strong. Thank you for working so hard to get better.’
A week ago, I went to the doctor’s office: a place I hadn’t been for about three years. My calf and ankle were swollen a week before, so I decided to get it checked out. I also wanted to discuss the shortness of breath, heart palpitations, and exhaustion which I’ve been experiencing for probably three years.
The doctor sent me to the lab for blood tests. I then waited in my clinic room for the doctor. Swiftly, the Nurse came in with an apparatus on wheels and said, ‘The doctor wants you to have an EKG.’
Um. Okay. The test took only a few minutes. She left and I waited.
The doctor came in, sat down, and calmly said, ‘You need to go to the hospital for a blood transfusion.’
I laughed at her light-heartedness. She continued, not laughing, to tell me my hemoglobin was at 4.8 and she has seen only one other patient with it that low in her 20 years as a doctor.
What?! I fumbled over my words and asked what would happen if I didn’t go into the hospital. I am not a medical / hospital kind of person whatsoever. The doctor warned me that I could easily have a heart attack. Hemoglobin brings oxygen to the organs, including heart and brain; and my organs weren’t getting much oxygen.
My kids’ dad drove my kids and me to the hospital. I asked the risks of, and alternatives to, a blood transfusion. I opted to trust and get the red blood cells intravenously. The kids and their dad went home while I spent the night in the hospital.
In the middle of the night, I received two bags of blood. I felt such warmth towards the anonymous blood donors. I wished I could hug them.
The next morning, two different ultrasounds revealed an enlarged uterus and several fibroids–3 large ones. This explained my heavy periods for the past years. I felt a tremendous amount of relief in knowing why I have felt like crap for about three years. I had assumed it was because of all that I’ve been through and worked past in my life…that it all simply exhausted me, I am getting older, and this is just how life will be until my kids leave the nest.
I left the hospital with my hemoglobin still under 8 (normal hemoglobin ranges from 11.1-15 g/dL). Afterwards, I received a blood work report in the mail which showed my iron level (Serum Ferritin) was only at 2. I am, indeed, in recovery mode.
So now: I am working on getting my iron up, and finding natural ways to remedy my heavy periods. And I’m listening to my body during this recovery time. Being tough and resilient, my typical way-of-doing-life, isn’t the answer right now. Allowing my body to speak to me and responding with what it needs is where my healing will happen.
Through all of this, I say thank you to my body for giving me an extra push to go to the clinic. Thank you, body, for keeping me alive these past years when all the odds say I probably shouldn’t even be alive right now. Thank you, body, for sticking with me through all the years of dieting and body-loathing; and for coming through on the other side of that in the past year.
Thank you, body, for being so strong. Thank you for working so hard to get better.
Thank your miraculous, beautiful, most-perfect body. Just as it is in each moment.
Warmly,