Define a Good Relationship
It’s important to know and be able to articulate what you think a good relationship entails. I’ve been in relationships where this wasn’t discussed, or else I was the only one discussing it. It rarely turned out where things just naturally fell into place into a fulfilling relationship for both parties; thus, there usually were numerous misunderstandings, blaming, being silenced, avoidance and disappointments.
If two people don’t feel comfortable honestly and thoroughly discussing with each other what a good relationship entails, that says a lot: Communication is going to be a challenge in this relationship, as is transparency. So consider that when getting involved with such a dynamic.
I will share what I consider a good relationship in order to give an idea of what I mean, as well as to perhaps inspire you to ponder this for yourself.
Both of us know ourselves & we each strive to be our best.
We each honestly think, contemplate, self-reflect, observe ourselves, figure out what we want, figure out why we do what we do and did what we did, correct our mistakes. We consider feedback from others about ourselves; we use this information to know where we need to grow, yet, we are secure enough to let go of feedback which doesn’t align with who we want to be. We know what we believe, value and stand for. We genuinely want to know ourselves well and know who we want to be. We have apparent passions and goals that we are always working towards. We are determined, motivated and intentional about being the person we desire to be, so at the end of our lives, we will be pleased with our efforts and who we became.
We bring our unique selves to the “table.”
With that strong individual foundation, personal responsibility and integrity, both of us have much to bring to the table in a relationship.
We share strong foundational traits.
We share similar ethics, beliefs and values. This saves a lot of time and effort; it eliminates having to reinvent the wheel due to not speaking the same “language.” This fosters trust and ease because there are minimal misunderstandings and there is no concern about not agreeing about the same definitions of words and statements.
Being known and knowing the other is the number one purpose of being in the relationship.
We both highly value getting to know another person on a deep level, and being known on a deep level by this same person. We cherish having someone who we can be completely transparent and honest with and to share ourselves and our lives with. There’s nothing to hide between us because of our desire to know and be known, and because of the security, trust and ease this creates. Neither of us have to be perfect because we are honest with ourselves and each other and because we can trust that the other person is self-aware, has integrity and is very intentional on improving him/herself.
We each see the relationship as worthy to protect and cherish.
Knowing and being known by each other automatically makes us highly-value the other person and sets the other person apart from anyone else. Thus, we are protective and respectful of the relationship and each other. We each take good care to nurture the relationship and not take it for granted.
We collaborate with each other.
With this kind of connection and security, collaboration with each other comes easily. We work together to help each other improve him/herself, the relationship, and our lives. We brainstorm, trouble-shoot, and use creativity to expand on what we each can do individually. Our individual choices are in line with and respectful of our relationship mission and of each of our life missions.
We have a blast together.
All of the above helps both of us relax and have a lot of fun, laughs and adventures together.
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Does any of this resonate with you? What you add and remove?
Do you need coaching? Please contact me. I’d love to help you.