Duped: We Value Communication

People who genuinely value authentic, transparent communication can be duped into thinking someone also values communication.

For those of us who are eager to encounter someone who takes the time to converse beyond small talk, we can be fooled when the other person

  • seems to go along with all of your written and verbal communications

    • appears to be listening & learning

    • appears to be enjoying the dialogs about meaningful topics

  • tells you they appreciate your honesty & candor

  • expresses comfort in being able to talk to you about anything

But in hindsight, what we observe on the above list is obviously not evidence of someone who values communication.

This person could

  • simply enjoy getting attention

    • and even enjoy the stimuli without hearing a word you’ve said

  • be getting ideas for tactics to get you to think they are on the same page as you

  • have only superficial relationships, so you’re just an interesting novelty to them

  • be gathering data to use to converse & bond with other people

  • be bored

    • you’re entertaining them & helping them pass the time

    • even seeing your interactions as a power trip or a game

  • be lonely

    • will keep company anyone who gives them the time of day

  • be using you to have more data to add to their imagination (grandiose daydreaming & fantasy)

Yet again, being quiet and observing will help you know what the other person is really about.

See what they actually

  • bring to discussions

    • Are they only asking questions to get you to talk & expose more of yourself?

  • initiate & are motivated by

  • do if you don’t reach out to them first

  • invest in pertaining to interaction with others

    • Is communication, to them, strictly for entertainment & getting attention & nothing to do with content?

Check out these other articles in this ‘Duped in a Relationship’ series:

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Duped: I Picked You

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Pick One: Attachment to Love or Attachment to Attention