Duped: You See Me
When someone recognizes in you your passions, gifts, virtues, and unique characteristics, you might breathe a sigh of relief.
Finally, here’s someone who sees me! By being seen, I don’t simply mean ‘to be looked at’ nor to be superficially-desired like a trend, to chase away the boredom, an impulsivity, a reality-show character (to live vicariously through or to observe like a freak-of-nature), someone to be used, or for a cheap thrill.
It’s easy to assume that if someone sees the authentic you, which tends to be a rarity, the person must also exist and live on a plane above the artificial, game-playing and trivial realm.
To really be seen by another means you are seen deeper than the surface, beyond the ‘song-and-dance’ performances so many people seem to value and rely on.
It’s easy to be really enthusiastic when it seems like someone values your authentic self. It’s easy to excitedly share so much about yourself because you assume the other person will appreciate it, can relate to you and your journey, and are just as enthusiastic to authentically share with you.
How can you tell the difference between truly being seen by another person, and their just wanting to use you in ways which you aren’t aware of?
Check yourself. Keep your eyes and ears open. Observe the person. Listen to your gut.
Are you simply seeing the other person’s potential versus what’s actually going on?
Is the other person just mirroring you, or are they a coat-tail rider?
Is the other person a performer?
Pay attention to their actions to see what their real interest is in you.
Don’t only rely on their words. Let them show you who they are.
Observe them pertaining to other people, their habits & their hobbies.
Do you find that they will take attention from anyone who notices them?
In other words, are you sure they really see you on a deep level, or do they just see you as another person who gives them attention?
Is it feasible & realistic that the same person who finds value in who you are, also finds value in quick fixes, addiction hits & impulsivity, & doesn’t know why they do what they do, etc.?
If not, how does your being their parent sound to you?
Do they seem to be censoring themselves, their lifestyle and their interests in attempt to please you?
Take things very slowly.
Do you need coaching? Please contact me. I’d love to help you.
Check out these other articles in this ‘Duped in a Relationship’ series: