Duped: “You’re ‘the One’”
‘Love bombed’ is a phrase used to describe being showered with all the things you’ve wanted someone to feel about you.
I have not one iota of doubt that you’re the one for me.
I’ve waited for you my whole life.
You’re the only one I want.
You’re the only one I will ever want.
You’re the most attractive person I’ve ever seen.
You’re the love of my life.
I want to be with you for the rest of our lives.
I have never & could never feel for anyone else what I feel for you.
I love everything about you.
You’re the only one I see.
You’re my connection to everything I’ve ever wanted to feel.
Wow, it sounds perfect, right? It sounds like someone who would be loyal, devoted, and invested in a relationship with you. It sounds like someone who has met a whole lot of frogs in their life; thus, they know, and take it very seriously, when they encounter prince or princess (aka a quality, unique and precious person). It sounds like someone who considers you and your relationship to be sacred and something to protect and cherish. It sounds like they will do whatever it takes to be with you. It sounds like they are willing to heal whatever issues they have in order to match up to the type of relationship they believe they will have with you. It sounds like they have the intention of co-creating a life with you. Right?
But, wait. Not so fast. Did you know that some people are able to feel such very lovely things about you, yet they have no intention of acting upon those feelings?
Did you know that, for some people, just having those feelings to tap into in their own head—even without you anywhere in the proximity—satiates them? Even without being involved with you?
Did you know that a person can observe a few of your traits and form a fictional character of you in their head to have a fictional relationship with their fictional (or ‘fake’) self? And did you know the fictional relationship just works out, without any effort on their part?
Did you know such a person can do almost anything with anyone else, do almost anything at all, and still consider you to be the ‘only one’ for them?
Yes indeed.
Yet again, keep your mouth shut and eyes open. See how they really feel about you by their choices and actions. Especially be aware of how they handle themselves with other people, ‘shiny objects’ and other distractions.
Don’t let love-bombing blind you and cause you to ignore your gut, intuition or all the growth work you’ve done. Don’t dupe yourself. Don’t desert yourself, only to be mesmerized and addicted to the love-bomber’s fictional idealization of you. Emotionally-detach yourself from this fantasy and spell.
Let this love-bombing fantasy serve as a guidepost & reminder to
not leave yourself stranded & alone
be authentically-present with yourself
take genuine care of yourself
love being in the skin you’re in
Check out these other articles in this ‘Duped in a Relationship’ series: