Empathetic Communication
it can be a challenge to generate empathy in communication. If the other person is really stressed, bummed out, or overwhelmed—and/or if they have several complaints—what can you do?
There are three general steps you can follow:
Ask questions.
Reiterate the answers you’ve heard.
Ask, ‘Is there anything I can do to help with this?’
The most important step is to ask questions. Put yourself into the position of an investigative reporter who needs to gather as much information as possible in order to have a thorough, complete picture of the situation, the other person’s perspective, and their experience. Being interested in having an understanding of what’s going on with the other person can be enough for the other person to feel like you have empathy, and to make you feel empathetic.
To bring the question-asking to a deeper level, you can can reiterate how you understand what the other person has said, also known as ‘mirroring.’
“Mirroring is designed to help each of you understand what the other is saying. It involves listening to your partner’s comments, restating them without altering their meaning, and then asking for confirmation that you ‘got it.’”
from the book Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt
Continue mirroring until the other person feels like you have a good understanding.
Instead of automatically jumping to trying to fix the other person’s problems, ask them if there’s anything you can do to help. Maybe they will want you to help to fix their problem, but they will have to request this. They could simply want to be heard and understood—that might be all that is required of you.
The more effort you put into asking questions and mirroring, without your resistance or looking down on the other person, the quicker and smoother the process will go.
Do you need coaching? Please contact me. I’d love to help you.