Letting Go of Painful Thoughts

I wrote about Why We Think Painful Thoughts—which is important to realize before we attempt to stop or let go of painful thoughts. Recognize there are pretty valid, albeit illogical, reasons for thinking painful thoughts.

When looking beyond the payoffs for thinking painful thoughts, we will find that the thoughts are actually doing ourselves quite a bit of harm.

Thinking on-going painful thoughts

• Creates a lot of stress

• Prevents us from thinking, instead, about what will improve our lives and doing those things

• Doesn’t give ourselves a break from the situation or person—the painful situations are always with us

• Ensures that when we step back into the situation, we also show up fully-charged with our attitudes and misery

• Prevents us from viewing the situation with new eyes and new possibilities

• Makes ourselves into our own enemy, rather than being there for ourselves

• Fosters a sense of having no control of ourselves and over our own lives

• Turns us into prey for additional pain

• Makes us feel like there is no way out / trapped

• Makes life seem, in a sense, hopeless

Ultimately, when we let go of painful thoughts, we are setting ourselves free and opening ourselves up to new possibilities to have good in our lives.

Do an experiment. First of all, come up with a few thoughts that can be your go-to, inspiring thoughts—these should be thoughts that inspire you or give you some hope. (For example, pick a nature scene that you like to be in, see and think about. Or imagine doing a job you really love.)

For one week, every time a painful thought pops in your head, tell yourself to let it go just for now and think about one of your go-to, inspiring thoughts. Notice how this starts to feel much better. Soon, you will find that you don’t need the painful thoughts anymore.

Byron Katie’s “The Work” is extremely helpful in going deeper to change painful thoughts simply by doing a worksheet.

Warmly,