Loving the Wrong Person
Maybe once in your life, you might fall in love with a person who isn’t good for you. A person who is happy for your attention, but just isn’t relationship “material.” Maybe even a person who doesn’t have much for morals, and who sees nothing wrong with betraying you if it gets what he/she wants.
It’s like he/she does so many things which hurt you. But yet you can’t help but love him/her.
Maybe it’s because this person feels like a part of you. Probably you can see something precious in this person—which you are able to see well beyond his/her dysfunction and superficiality.
I think all of the above is legitimate. Believe it or not, it makes sense to me. I don’t even think it’s wrong to still love someone who betrayed you.
But that’s not the end-all.
It’s okay to love that person. But it’s important to also love yourself enough to stay away from him/her.
Have the self-respect, dignity, and responsibility to not tolerate such behaviors, to not lower your standards for such a dysfunctional relationship.
Remember that you can never love a betraying person enough to make him/her want to change, and to want you as much as you want him/her. I know: it’s heart-breaking.
It’s hard to leave someone you love. But it’s detrimental to leave yourself, in order to be with that person.
A few years after leaving such a relationship, I realized that I was putting myself between the person I loved and God. Subconsciously, I think my ego wanted to be the one to love the person, to be the one to rescue the person, to get the person to love me back. Instead of God. That was a tough pill to swallow when I saw that.
Once I realized what I had done, within my heart and mind, and was still doing even away from the person, I had to give the person over to God: for God to handle, deal with, love, protect, discipline and guide.
“What do I do about my love? I miss this person so much. What do I do with all these feelings?” I asked God.
I heard my answer: “Pray for this person.” I knew this person wasn’t mine, but God’s. My resistance to this was strong. I could feel the tug-of-war—my not wanting to let go. “Mine!”
Wow, the ego is so powerful. But ultimately, I saw that real love would requiring surrendering this person to God. I knew that God could do with and for this person everything which I could not. And I do indeed trust God who has never, ever forsake nor betrayed me. If I were to give this person over to anyone, it would have to be God—who has my best interest in mind always (which is, ironically, the opposite of the person who I love).
Giving this person over to God who I completely trust, knowing it was safe for me to do so because He is so trustworthy and faithful, deepened my reverence and appreciation for Him.
And the Lord, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.
Deuteronomy 31:8
Do you need help letting go of the wrong person? Please contact me. I’d love to help you.