Toxic People Aren’t to Blame for This

There is nothing any toxic person did to manipulate me into loving them.

No one can force me to love them. No one can fake, pretend, lie or trick me into loving them. No one can do favors, give me gifts, invite me, welcome me in, or entice me into loving them.

My love is a choice. I have loved the people who I, independently, have chosen.

I have chosen the people who I have loved because of a deep feeling of connection and adoration for them. I have the ability to see under all the self-protection tactics and see the authentic person inside; and that’s who I have loved. From there, I loved the idiosyncrasies and the quirks and all of what made each person who I loved unique, special and precious in my eyes, in my physiology, in my heart and in my spirit.

I chose them to love.

I don’t blame any person who I loved for my loving them.

I blame myself for staying with the wrong people. I blame myself for not honoring my red flags and deal-breakers. I blame myself for continuing to choose those people after I figured out who they really are, what they really wanted, and what their intentions were.

Those people aren’t to blame for my staying with them. I am.

I do, however, appreciate and value how much I am capable of loving someone, and my capacity for closeness, loyalty and devotion. I appreciate and value how I much adore and honor, to my core, the person who I love.

But I need to protect that at all costs. And choose wisely who I give it to.

I have written many articles about using discernment and honoring our relationship needs, what we have to give relationships, and paying attention to our deal breakers and red flags. It took me decades to figure this out for myself because I had to undo the deep-rooted programming that something was horribly wrong with me and who I am.

Do you need coaching? Please contact me. I’d love to help you.