Unplugged
I originally wrote this article on August 12, 2014.
Since around 1997, I’ve been ‘plugged in’, attached, addicted, obsessed, anxiously click-click-clicking, creating almost whip-lash-inducing movements as I alternated between *my life* and a virtual world of distraction. I’ve had a few breaks during this time, such as when I’ve been camping, but mostly I’ve been wired-up. On the internet.
We do what we need to/want to until we don’t need to/want to anymore.
Oh, the internet has served me well. It’s helped me distract myself during some of the most treacherous times of my adult life. It’s connected me with so many people I wouldn’t have otherwise met. It’s allowed me to express myself in ways I so desperately needed. I’ve done oodles of research–from health issues to sociological studies.
Yet, it’s also been the monkey-on-my-back.
Over the summer, I had a meeting with a man I admire: a 70-something-year-old business coach whom I drew into my life at my weekend receptionist job. He said that all of his business is generated via word-of-mouth. His website is outdated…he hasn’t needed it. This sounded absolutely delicious to me. I knew that’s what I wanted for myself on some level.
Though, I’ve known I’ll keep a blog and my coaching Facebook page; and I’ll have some clients via email. But I also have known I have had no desire to keep what I call a ‘fancy’ phone (with internet and all that) or to Twitter or be constantly plugged-in in order to keep my business going (I’ll leave that to the people who are so dang passionate about that sort of thing). I’ve known there will be ways that my clients and I will find one another, practically effortlessly; I continuously experience this.
The start of my technological-unplugging began in around 2005 with quitting TV viewing. It just worked for my kids and me to not be attached to the TV. When my kids and I moved into a home of our own this year, I decided to not buy the flat-screen TV I wanted for movie-watching; and, instead, opted for viewing movies on a less-conspicuous/less attention-demanding laptop. That’s been a great decision. ‘What?! You don’t watch TV? You don’t follow the news?’ Nope. Love it. More peaceful living. I am passionately-political by voting with my day-to-day life choices. Political debates, murders, and other fear-based methods of control don’t inspire me or make me feel good.
One of my dreams is to live off-the-grid–to not be plugged into the virtual world of the internet. I assumed this would happen when, say, I would buy my dream cabin in the woods, where I would log online only when visiting the nearby town. I didn’t know it could happen easily and joyfully well-before I have the dream cabin–even while having wireless internet available right in my own home.
Slowly unplugging from the ‘net: It started with my pruning down my Facebook friends. I decided that on Facebook, I was sort of hiding out without seeming to be hiding out; I was allowing people to sort-of be in my life, but yet not really. I was feeling alone, even with 250 ‘friends’. Ironic. I decided just to be ‘friends’ with 1-relatives, 2-people who I had a real-life relationship with (who I talked to on the phone, got together with in real life, or intended to meet up with very soon), and 3-my old military friends. This pissed off a few folks who didn’t understand and/or respect what I was doing for myself.
Next, my list went down to family members. And then finally, I just skipped the whole personal account friend list. I’ve kept my life coaching page, and I follow some public figures and restaurants, as well as a couple of inspiring groups. This felt and feels light and free.
Last week, I found myself going a bit mad with all the stimulation of the computer in between caring for my kids, managing my household, and being with myself. I had a Friday-night online chat with my uncle/friend in which I was basically complaining about my life, feeling consumed by a self-created black hole. After I logged off for the night, I had a breakthrough.
I realized it was time! Finally, I felt the pull. The kind of pull where you know that there isn’t anything you want to do more than that.
I made the decision to not even turn on my computer at home except for briefly mid-week during the time the kids visit with their dad for four hours, and perhaps my kid-free Friday nights (such as tonight). I use the computer at my weekend job anyway, so I can check up on online things during my breaks there too.
How did my unplugged week go? An enthusiastic fantastic! Incredibly easy! Joyful!
Just once did I log-on during the day to make reservations and to check for an email I had a strong feeling would be coming in. I felt my energy go from Zen to anxious, and even a bit crabby, in just 10 minutes. Interesting.
But the majority of the time, I have been doing a lot of inspiring reading, cleaning the house to the way the kids and I love it, being with my kids, reading to my kids, lighting candles, caring for myself, jotting many notes, running errands with ease, walking in the sunlight surrounded by fall leaves (even my walks feel different now, oddly), coming up with the most fantastic ideas out of thin air. I’ve felt energized. I’ve felt amazingly blessed to be me, in a way I’ve never felt. I’ve been conscious of being present for my kids all along; but now I’ve started being present with myself too (it never occurred to me that I wasn’t until this week). I’ve been drawn to go inward and be here for me…to be the one who is always here for me.
Oh! I realized this week, that my cheap wireless internet deal is going up over 45 bucks a month at the end-of-January. So, guess what?! I’m going to cancel it at that time. This has lead me to the idea of making full-use of libraries, as well as hunting for other free and inexpensive things to explore out in my immediate world. I love how changes/shifts just snowball into more wondrous things.
How does this affect my life coaching? I’m still here for you all. Email me; I will respond for sure within a week. As of right now, I have decided to not do my every-weekday Facebook coaching posts. But I’m now putting energy into my blog-writing which I have been anticipating for a while now–yay! So, expect many blog entries dropping out of the sky.
Tell me. What have you been wanting to ‘unplug’ from for a while now? Something just for you. I’m not advocating for you to unplug from the internet, per se. It could be that you hope to unplug from, for example, an unhealthy friendship, or being hard on your body, or gossiping. I don’t think this is something that can be forced. It will happen when you are ready. Just putting the prospect of it happening sets change in motion.
Warmly,