You Don’t Have to Answer Questions
I originally wrote this article on May 11, 2014.
Being a homeschooling mom, people who aren’t invested in my children, or me, sometimes ask me questions about why we do what we do; but more often I’m asked questions implying I should be doing what the mainstream does.
A frequent query, as most homeschoolers know, is ‘What about socialization for your kids?’
If someone sincerely wants to understand what the heck I’m thinking because it seems so interesting, unique and cool, and they want to expand their mind, sure, I will get into the details.
Or if someone authentically cares about my children to the point where they are establishing a deep, meaningful, mutually-enjoyable bonded relationship with my kids, I will certainly discuss why we do what they do so they can appreciate it too.
Or if someone wants to get to know me, I love to discuss my choices, vice versa.
But otherwise, I just don’t have to answer any question I don’t want to answer. I don’t have to answer any questions about anything I don’t want to get into or defend.
Neither do you. Try it.
Examples:
Here is one trick I call ‘Avoiding the Question‘:
‘Concerned’ Citizen: <Gasp!> What about your children being socialized?
Me: Hey, is it going to rain today? Oh, I gotta go. Bye!
Or another trick in my book I call ‘Agree so they don’t know what else to say‘ because you can almost-always find some truth in their statement:
‘Concerned’ Citizen: <Gasp!> What about your children being socialized?
Me: I know! Crazy, isn’t it?
‘Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.’
- penguins from the movie Madagascar
“If you don’t meet resistance with resistance, it dissipates dramatically. It just softens. Try it! Next time somebody says to you, ‘I’m right, and you’re wrong,” say, ‘Pfftt, you’re right. You are right. You’re right.’ And mean it. In other words, don’t mock them. Don’t be sarcastic. ‘You’re right.’ And then watch how, all of a sudden, their legs almost go right out from under them. They don’t have the energy to blast you, because you just took the fuel away from the fire.”
- Abraham Hicks
Warmly,