‘Armchair Quarterback’ Admiration of People

When we admire someone who we aren’t in a close relationship with, and who we aren’t invested in during our day-to-day lives, our admiration can come across like an ‘armchair quarterback.’ It’s almost like saying, ‘Since I notice these good traits, that makes me special, too, like the person who I admire.'

It’s passive admiration. It can potentially be a cop-out, an escape, from living and being what you admire. It could indicate your unwillingness to risk: risk being rejected, risk failure, risk vulnerability, and risk exposing yourself.

Here’s how to convert admiration from passive to proactive:

• Use your admiration as inspiration to improve yourself, your close relationships and your life.

• Be fully-aware of what is admirable about the person you admire.

• Find ways that you are like the person.

• Find ways that you are working to be more like the person.

• Find ways that the person is continuing your life's work since you're only one person--in other words, find how they are carrying the baton for all the efforts you, solely, are making.

• If the person is someone you actually know, share all the above with them.

• Share this list with the people who you are close with and invested in.

• In your close relationships, talk about your admiration of other people, the content of this list, as frequently as you find yourself admiring others.

Otherwise, this passive admiration seems as lazy and uninspiring as an ‘armchair quarterback,’ and it only distracts you from putting energy and appreciation into your close relationships.