Higher Self and Ego
There are two main states to live in:
Ego (being a pretend character)
Higher self (living as and being who we are born to be, our purpose)
We cannot be living as our higher self when we live from our ego. When we live from our ego, we leave our higher self and look outside of ourselves for our sense of worthiness.
When we live as our higher self, we are living as the person who we were born to be, we are living our purpose and have a direct connection to God. We have no need to look outside ourselves and away from our direct connection to God for our worthiness, as the connection to God and who we were born to be IS our worthiness.
When we leave our higher self, and look to another for our worthiness, many times we find little or no evidence that the other finds us worthy.
An easy relationship is one where we can leave our higher self and find that our friend or partner behaves and responds to us like we are worthy.
A difficult relationship is one where, when we leave our higher self, our friend or partner shows lots of evidence that s/he doesn’t find us worthy.
We each have our own definitions of what a person can and cannot do in order to prove our worthiness. Another way to call it is button-pushing. When someone pushes our buttons, it’s likely because we have left our higher self, turned instead to our ego, and our ego looks for evidence outside of ourselves to prove our worthiness. When our ego doesn’t see evidence in the other person, our buttons are pushed. We are triggered.
The same is true for our needing to use our imagination/grandiose daydreaming to make-believe that we are worthy by fantasizing that we are worthy. There are many ways and methods we do this.
Here’s an example of make-believe worthiness: I am sentimental about a stranger crying. This proves I am compassionate. My being compassionate about a stranger crying means that I’m worthy.
Even though the make-believe worthiness is happening inside of us, it is still our ego. Why? Because we have to be our higher self, not make up stories to generate a sense of worthiness. Making up stories, fantasizing about our worthiness, is the same thing as looking to another person to prove we are worthy.
Another thing the ego does is to try to get people who we are not invested in (strangers, acquaintances, etc) to see our worthiness. Many times this is a cop-out from being who we need to be with the people who we claim to matter to us. It’s a way to avoid commitment, intimacy and the self-work required to have a healthy relationship. I.e. It’s a way to hide from ourselves, behind our ego.
Another way the ego acts-out is to use our awareness of our higher purpose as a weapon. ‘You should know who I am, you should see my greatness and purpose; therefore, you shouldn't do this <button pushing>.’ In doing this, we actually walk away from ourselves/purpose/and greatness—a catch 22. No one has to see our greatness, not even our minds. When we demand or hope someone will see our greatness/higher self, we are living our ego.
So we must stay focused on living as our higher self, and not look to others to see that we are.
What we need to realize is when we live as our higher self/our purpose, we are given guidance and help from God, so we are never alone, never unsupported.
When we walk away from our higher self/our purpose, for the quick impulsive fix, we walk away from ourselves, God, and our supernatural support team. That’s why chasing the "fixes" of the ego is never satiated, and is nothing but an on-going, out-of-control addiction which always leaves us empty.