Being Alone
I originally wrote this article on October 21, 2012.
Imagine running in a marathon. You’ve trained for it, and you’re feeling good–albeit tired. On the sidelines are hundreds of strangers cheering you on. Their enthusiasm reminds you to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Some of the cheerleaders actually seem proud of you, someone whom they don’t even know, for your efforts. You’re smiling as sweat drips down your face.
It feels good, doesn’t it?
This is how I see our life journeys.
Sure, some of us want to be cared for more than we are being cared for, to feel more loved than it seems we are. Some of us want to be carried. So we desperately and helplessly search and search, beg, and perhaps guilt-trip, to recruit people to take care of and love us in various ways. Usually, we end up frustrated, resentful, and angry to not have our needs met by others.
The thing is, only we can walk in our own shoes, only we can be our unique selves, only we can live our own journeys. Indeed, we are truly alone.
As we recognize our ‘alone-ness’, we can begin to trust in ourselves. We tap into the Life power within us, and realize that we can, figuratively, run marathons and move mountains simply with our intentions.
Ironically, when we embrace exactly how alone we are, we become conscious of all the cheerleaders we have along the way, courtesy of Life. Our cheerleaders could be in the form of a flower, or the wind, or a car/bike/legs that takes us to where we want to be. It could be a friend or a family member who holds our hand for a little while. Or a stranger who holds the door for us. Or a five-dollar bill we find in our winter coat.
Let go of your neediness, co-dependency, and guilt-inducing reactions. Let go of your non-mutual expectations of others. Be present with yourself, your power, and the journey you are on. Don’t worry, Life brings help in ways and forms you have never even dreamed of–freely, easily, without any control on your part, without owing anything in return.
“You need not leave your room.
Remain sitting at your table and listen.
You need not even listen, simply wait.
Become quiet, and still, and solitary.
The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked.
It has no choice.
It will roll in ecstasy at your feet.”
- Franz Kafka (as shared by Jeff Foster)
Warmly,