Duped: Sense of Identity
When a person has an air of confidence—their mannerisms, their walk and even their stature—it’s easy to assume that they have a strong sense of identity and sense of self. Sometimes even being quiet, a person of a few words, initially gives off an air of confidence, making us assume the person is so secure that they don’t need to hear themselves talk nor be the center of attention.
It’s easy to assume someone with an air of confidence has a strong sense of identity: they know who they are, what they believe, what they want and how to get it, are secure about their purpose and passions, make it through challenges and get better on the other side, are unstoppable in learning and growing, protect who and what they care about (strong boundaries), have courage to handle struggle and with whatever obstacles get in their way, and are appropriately transparent.
Wow. What a shocker it is when we see someone with an air of confidence, only to find out they are chameleons, they are mask-wearers, they are con artists.
They study people to see what simple things to say and do in order to fit in with, or at least be noticed by, each person or each group they encounter. They are constantly, like an addict, seeking opportunity to be noticed, to fit in and to belong. And they have to have very weak moral compasses in order to not give up absolutely every opportunity which presents itself.
They easily and willingly change their image and identity based on who is around them and who could potentially notice them.
If they seem confident, it’s their confidence to be able to fool almost anyone and to never have to be vulnerable, authentic, honest, accountable or responsible, nor to learn, grow, mature and heal.
The magic formula to never have to expose themselves and their manipulating games can include:
being quiet (or to ramble on about non-vulnerable, non-discriminating topics)
seeming easy-going and/or ‘willing'
to never get too involved with anyone (at least with anyone who is awake and conscious)
always wear an ‘air of confidence’ mask
Check out these other articles in this ‘Duped in a Relationship’ series: