Duped: the Stage is Set
There are a lot of areas that need to line up in order to have a close relationship—first and foremost are the practical, basic-life logistics.
Here are things to be considered:
proximity to each other’s residences
type of home (small, spacious, house, apartment, etc.)
level of materialism
conditions of property & home environment
dependents involved (children and other loved ones)
other demands, obligations & responsibilities
lifestyle pace
involvement with other people: acquaintances, neighbors, friends, co-workers, relatives, clubs, organizations, memberships, online, real life
job location
hours worked & amount of involvement in job (mental and physical)
basic personality traits
comfort level being around each other
introvert or extrovert
sensitivity & emotional levels
homebody or not
the need for & types of entertainment
interests
driving & traveling preferences
spontaneity & availability
current & similar or relatable challenges
When meeting a person where there seems to be compatibility, and especially where there are differences which compliment each other, it can feel like a match made in heaven.
Complimentary differences could include things like
one of you has a big house but no dependents, and the other has dependents but lives in a small apartment
one of you loves to drive, and the other doesn’t like to drive
one of you doesn’t have any close relationships nearby, and the other only has dependents to take care of
one of you doesn’t have an inspiring purpose in life, and the other is overwhelmed with responsibilities
one of you can handle dealing with customer service staff & strangers, the other has social phobias
one of you finds organizing to be easy & enjoyable, the other highly-appreciates help with organizing
When so many of these sorts of practicalities, dynamics and logistics line up with the two of you, it is as if the stage is being set.
All the boxes seem to be checked. It can easily seem that the only thing which is required, then, is to start and maintain the relationship. It can feel like a no-brainier. It can feel like synchronicity.
Unfortunately, we can get duped by assuming the stage is set for having a fulfilling relationship. However, don’t forget that having the stage set has nothing to do with each person’s level of interest, care, concern, perseverance, loyalty, devotion, dedication, honesty, transparency, ability to have authentic communication, and so forth.
Move very slowly, keep your eyes and ears open, so as to see beyond the set stage.
Check out these other articles in this ‘Duped in a Relationship’ series: