Follow the Script (Be My Robot)
When you are in a relationship with someone who is emotionally-detached, emotionally-immature, and/or who lives a double-life type of relationship, usually they have a sort of script and character in their mind for you to follow. They have in their mind that you are good for x, y, and z in their life—things which they can’t get, or be fully-satiated, elsewhere.
Since they are emotionally-detached, how you feel, who you are, and what you want, doesn’t fit into the script. They don’t see much beyond the scripts they write for themselves and the character roles in their scripts.
One example: Your partner wants you to cook him dinner and to happily greet him when he gets home. Your doing these tasks are mostly why he is with you, if he were to be honest.
Your script to follow, and character role to play, is that of a cook and a greeter.
Generally, once you follow their script, your role in the relationship is complete for the day. At that point, your partner doesn’t care what else you do because there’s nothing else written on their script for you.
Essentially, you’re a robot which they want to program with very-specific tasks in mind. Without emotional-awareness, without maturity, and without understanding or wanting genuine, close, deep partnership, it kind of makes sense.
If you look at other less-important relationships and interactions, you can see that this sort of thing goes on all the time. It’s not ideal for a committed partnership or close friendship for those who don’t want a double-life. But if you’re in a relationship with someone like this, it still can work. Figure out what character and script you want the other person to follow in the relationship. Granted, you have to pick a character role from the other person’s existing behaviors since the other person doesn’t understand, relate to you, or care about connection. So be sure you pick a character they are already-playing; and don’t expect anything beyond that.
Do you need coaching? Please contact me. I’d love to help you.