Omission Excuse: It Didn’t Mean Anything

Omitting information is a form of lying—especially when the information is important to a task or job, or within a relationship.

One excuse for omitting information within a relationship I recently heard was, ‘I didn’t say anything to my partner about it because what happened didn’t mean anything to me.’

This same person claimed to their partner on numerous occasions that most of the concerning (disrespectful, etc.) behaviors and choices that this person makes are simply meaningless. As such, they dismiss their partner’s concerns.

Wait. The partner is concerned. But the other person is not.

The partner feels disrespected. But the other person is fine with what they do and is fine keeping secrets from the partner.

The partner says, ‘If it doesn’t mean anything to you, then why do it at all? Especially since it’s disrespectful of me and our relationship!’

This question goes unanswered.

Then the partner asks, ‘Exactly how much of your life contains meaningless choices and behaviors? Exactly how much are you hiding under this ‘meaningless’ guise?’

If there are a lot of unknowns, if you feel in-the-dark, regarding the other person who has this mindset, then perhaps in the shadows hides what’s really most important to them: their extensive secret ‘meaningless’ choices, behaviors and investments which ‘don’t mean anything.’

The other person feels justified with what they choose, do, and put attention on, and they feel justified keeping it all secret from their partner—as long as those choices don’t ‘mean anything’ or are ‘meaningless.’ They don’t care about their partner’s perspective or feelings—i.e. they have the mindset of someone single who only has themselves to tend to.

With this mindset, it seems like anything goes and everything can be kept secret from the partner, as long as the other person defines all of their choices and behaviors as ‘meaningless,’ and convinces themselves none of it ‘means anything’ to them.

If something like this is your situation, for your sanity, take the double-life approach to your relationship. You’re not going to be respected much by someone who believes this way.

Do you need coaching? Contact me. I’d love to help.