One Measurement of Friendship Traits
In this article, I pointed to the Five Levels of Relationship Engagement & Skill (developed by Dr. Les Carter). Branching off those five levels, there are two main character traits I notice about a person. These two character traits are always running in the background:
Would I trust this person alone with my things?
If applicable, would I trust this person alone with my children?
Would I trust this person to not gossip about me behind my back?
How many people about whom would you answer “yes” to both of these questions?
If I can’t answer “yes” to both of those questions, I know to keep my emotional distance from the person. Sure, I can still interact with such a person. I can even hang out, talk to him/her, have fun with him/her.
But when I encounter someone about whom I can’t say “yes” to both those questions, I always take extra care of shielding my heart and mind around him/her. I don’t set myself up for regrets and pain. And I don’t set up the other person for betrayal, disrespect, and failure to be loyal and true.
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