Humility in Relationships

When dealing with an on-going relationship situation where I have had to swallow my pride and hold my tongue, I have had to come up with an internal solution for myself to find some peace.

I have already done the work in this situation where I have found out as much information as I have been able to, I’ve processed as much as I can.

Logically, I have known that what the other person chooses is up to them.

I was still left with my frustrations, resentment, rejection, and disappointment I was still taking it personally.

I came up with an idea, something to tell myself, each time the other person does something which triggers me. I tell myself, “I’ve done that before.”

For every action others do, I can find somewhere in my life where I have done a similar action. I know I’ve done that, or something like it.

When I recognize that I have done something similar before, I can generate some understanding of, and compassion for, myself during that period of time. I can forgive myself for the action. I can see how it was work, a process, for me to stop doing the action—it usually didn’t change overnight. This is humility.

From the place of understanding and compassion, I can let the other person off-the-hook. I understand, I get it. I did that action before so I need to allow them the space to do it too. I need to not interfere with their own process, and I can let them discover for themselves how it ends up, just as I did.

Doing this makes me a more humble person. It provides so much relief.

Warmly,