It Fell in My Lap

When good things happen almost effortlessly, or when it’s least-expected—such as landing a dream job, finding just the right house, meeting a future best friend or partner, happening upon a new favorite restaurant, etc.—we could exclaim, ‘It just fell in my lap!’

Contrarily, another type of falling-in-the-lap involves avoidance.

• avoiding accountability

• avoiding awareness

• avoiding boundaries

• avoiding choosing

• avoiding contemplation

• avoiding decisions

• avoiding devotion

• avoiding discernment

• avoiding ethics

• avoiding goals

• avoiding heedful thinking

• avoiding humility

• avoiding initiating effort

• avoiding integrity

• avoiding investments

• avoiding limiting options

• avoiding loyalty

• avoiding making a stand

• avoiding motivation

• avoiding picking what’s most important

• avoiding plans

• avoiding rejection

• avoiding responsibility

• avoiding restraint

• avoiding saying ‘No’

• avoiding turning people down

A person who allows people, interactions, things, information, data, stimulation, situations, opportunities, experiences, etc. to fall-in-their-lap, while avoiding of the above, tends to claim ‘innocence’ for what they expose themselves to, what they give attention to, what they respond to, and what they experience:

• I didn’t decide that.

• I didn’t choose that.

• I didn’t initiate that.

• I wasn’t looking for that.

• I didn’t ask for that.

• It wasn’t my idea.

• It wasn’t me.

• They did it.

• It just showed up.

• They just showed up.

• It fell in my lap.

• They fell in my lap.

• I don’t want to be mean or rude to anyone!

Further, this person sees themselves as ‘innocent’ since they don’t have to put forth much effort in order have things and people fall in their lap—it can appear that they aren’t searching for, or pursing, anything or anyone:

• They ensure their bodies &/or faces are visible & accessible to others.

• They ensure their technology devices are on-hand & online statuses show availability.

• They are easily-impressed.

• They claim to be a naturally-curious person, to have a child-like curiosity.

• They click around online, turn on media, linger around people, look at people, etc.

• They don’t refuse any offer presented to them.

Lastly, this person can easily-imagine that they are too good to have to be vulnerable, to have to work hard, initiate, approach, invite, or make offers to other people. Whenever there’s an absence of anyone or anything falling in their lap it only means, in their minds, that they themselves aren’t interested, and are rejecting those people and things. As such, when people or things do fall into this person’s lap, they internally-rationalize, it’s not because they wanted the thing or the person—it was the other way around, and this person is simply and heroically tolerating and/or helping out the people and things.

Do you need coaching? Please contact me. I’d love to help you.