Painting a Portrait
Each person who we do not know is like a black-and-white sketch portrait with no color painted on it. No color on a portrait equates to the person being unknown.
As we get to know a person, each bit of information we learn about them helps us to paint a bit of color on their portrait. A painted portrait equates to our knowing the person, and defining who the person is.
Ideally, we have almost completely-colored portraits of the people in our inner circle, vice versa. Certainly, in a best friendship or partnership, both people should have completely-colored portraits of each other. Of course, we are always learning about ourselves and those we care about — but, overall, we should know as much as we can about one another in order to function and collaborate well together and to invest-in, love, support and protect each other and the relationships.
Here’s an example of some of the information which defines who a person is. The knowledge of such information colors in our portrait of the person:
mental & physical health; emotional & mental maturity levels; awareness & consciousness; morals & moral compass; ethics; spirituality; beliefs; values; responsibilities; motivation & drive; focus abilities; boundaries; spending & finances; advocacy; ideas; goals; admiration of, interest in, involvement & interactions with, acquaintances, neighbors, friends, co-workers, relatives, & anyone else; involvement with (online & real-life) clubs, communities, organizations, businesses, hang-out locations, networks, social media, memberships, apps, & other technologies; thoughts; pleasures; wishes; dreams; desires; passions; emotions; needs; interests; preferences; opinions; experiences; history; memories; learning; growth; mistakes; struggles; insecurities; anxieties; habits; pastimes; distractions; entertainment; collections; hobbies; idiosyncrasies; jokes; humor; gossiping; secrets; compulsive & impulsive behaviors; addictions; internet/cell phone & TV usage; obsessions; fantasies; fetishes; etc.
When we think of and/or interact with that person, we think of their colored portrait and the essence of who they are.
Don’t waste your precious time, energy and focus in trying to color-in portraits of those in whom you don’t invest. This distracts from what you have to offer to your important relationships.
Do you need coaching? Please contact me. I’d love to help you.