‘Narcissist’ Doesn’t Only Mean ‘Jerk’

The term “Narcissist” gets thrown around a lot these days when discussing a jerk or someone who is obnoxiously loud or aggressive.

Actually, narcissism is much more complex and confusing—and sometimes much different—than that. Understanding what a narcissist really is, is important for those trying to get away from and heal from being involved with narcissists.

Based on my studies, and especially from my personal experiences, NPDs (those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder traits) come in two main forms:

• vulnerable narcissist (aka “covert” or “fragile” narcissist)

• grandiose narcissist (aka “overt” narcissist)

NPDs have these traits in common:

• Disinterested in self-reflection, self-awareness , self-actualization, accountability

• Disinterested in knowing, understanding and relating to loved ones on a deep level

• Lack in empathy

• Unable to have, and not interested in, true connection

• A high need for, and addiction to, attention; in the forms of

  • admiration

  • pity

  • being feared

  • reactions from others (positive or negative)

Here are some techniques NPDs use against loved ones—and/or anyone who directly or indirectly points out what is behind their facade or "false self" image—such as

• intermittent reinforcement

• stonewalling

• gaslighting

• projecting, and then guilting and shaming

• smear campaigning

• mobbing

• triangulation

• scapegoating

• bribery

• implied or explicit threats of harm to

  • self

  • you

  • others

  • property

  • situations

• blackmailing

• other covert or overt malicious intent

I can help you find your way out of this sort of mess via my coaching. Please contact me.