Nice? No, Thank You

Instead of being '“nice,” I prefer being "courteous" and having "basic human respect and dignity" with boundaries and with respect for loved ones.

I was in a relationship with someone who I loved very much, who helped me a lot in various ways, and who wanted lots of time with me.

But this person also seemed sensually-pleasured by almost everything and everyone (and denied it). Yet, everyone thought this person was so "nice."

I’ve had relatives who many people thought were so nice, they did nice things on the surface—yet they were sneaky, manipulating and malicious.

I’m disinterested in being win a relationship with someone who needs to be "nice" to everyone, who needs to be noticed by everyone, who needs to be praised for how nice they are, who needs to be superficially "nurtured" by everyone.

Remember: "Nice" people can put on a good show. But being Nice doesn't mean they are ethical, have strong values and morals, and are principled. It doesn’t mean they have any integrity to stand on. It doesn’t mean they are your advocate and ally. In fact, it doesn’t mean they care about you at all.

Interesting and validating, here is the etymology of the term Nice in Latin:

nice (adj.)

late 1300s., "foolish, ignorant, frivolous, senseless," from Old French nice (12c.) "careless, clumsy; weak; poor, needy; simple, stupid, silly, foolish,"

from Latin nescius "ignorant, unaware," literally "not-knowing," from ne- "not" (from PIE root *ne- "not") + stem of scire "to know"

I also recommend reading this article titled “The Price of Nice” by Kelly Bryson, MA, MFT.

Do you need coaching? Please contact me. I’d love to help you.