Purpose: Loyalty & Devotion
There are plenty of people who feel like their life is aimless, who wander around wondering what it is all for, who know they aren’t the sharpest tool in the shed, who use addictions to deal with the moments, who are socially-awkward, who can’t relate to the people around them, who don’t know how to manage their time and their things, who find it hard to get out of bed every day, who struggle making decisions, who just don’t have much going on for themselves, who always feel like something is missing even when life feels good-enough, and on and on.
To all of these people, I have a suggestion.
No matter how intelligent you are, no matter how little you’ve accomplished, no matter how lost you feel, etc. you can always find someone to be loyal and devoted to. Loyalty and devotion don’t require success and intelligence.
It only requires that you put a lot of eggs in one basket. Make one person truly matter to you. Make that person a priority. Make that person your valuable investment. Pay attention. Listen. Figure out ways you can fit into the person’s life. Figure out ways you can help.
Don’t let yourself drift and get distracted. Don’t let yourself chase or fall for nonsense and addictions. Improve yourself so you are capable of being someone to be relied on and counted on.
I recommend investing in only one person because you really can’t multi-task with this purpose. Be real about yourself; if you aren’t already loyal and devoted to someone (via your participation and actions, not just in your head), don’t think you can suddenly be loyal and devoted to more than one person. Don’t think you can spread yourself out, but still be loyal and devoted. (If you’re raising kids, it’s possible to be devoted to them, plus to an adult.)
There could be the concern of being rejected. There could be the concern of being co-dependent. There could be the concern of being taken advantage of by the person you’re loyal to. Those concerns are completely irrelevant pertaining to this exercise. If any of those things happen, then you’re not focusing on who you are. If you fear rejection, codependency, or being taken advantage of, it means you are looking outwardly for approval, validation, and praise—which is the opposite of what this experience is about.
It’s crucially-important that you are loyal and devoted solely for the purpose of feeling good about who you are and what you’re capable of. Be loyal and devoted so you can experience yourself that way, and as someone who has integrity, is honest, is transparent, is expressive, is known, is accountable, has clarity, has confidence, is vulnerable, is dependable, is responsible, is competent, feels sane, has humility, has goals, is motivated, is focused, is aware, is responsive, is attentive, has ideas, is innovative, is creative, has something to offer, invests in important things, wants to be their best self, listens to feedback from others as guideposts and learning tools to heal and grow, corrects mistakes, is inspiring, has meaning, gives freely and with joy (with no-strings-attached), is mature, and who is not a victim.
If you pick someone who doesn’t want you around, tells you to leave them alone, tells you they aren’t interested, leave them alone immediately. It is their right to not want you around. Pick someone else to invest in. You won’t experience rejection if you are doing this solely for your experience of being a person who you love to be and who you love to be with 24 hours a day.
If you discover that you don’t enjoy being and talking with the person you picked to invest in, or they don’t enjoy being and talking with you, communicate that you are finished and cut ties. Pick someone else. Just don’t overlap two relationships at once. Completely cut ties with the first one; so you can be loyal and devoted in the new relationship.
Practice self-awareness and personal-responsibility. Have boundaries around yourself, say ‘no’ when you don’t want to do something, say ‘no’ when you need alone time or when you have self-care and recharging wholesome things to do—in-line with being your best self. But do not ditch the other person in order to chase nonsense, to get superficial attention, to practice addictions—these sorts of things can powerfully affect you more than you might know (spiritually and subconsciously), and defeat your purpose.