Up Against a Brick Wall: No Truth or Remorse
Another lesson I’ve learned when getting involved with people is this:
When a person doesn’t or can’t relate to my values, ethics, needs, experiences, feelings, and/or perspectives, that is a red flag. In the past, in the many times I came up against this situation, I would foolishly try to reiterate and explain myself over and over. Yet, I continuously found myself up against a brick wall.
I assumed the other person was just more evolved (or something) than me—to the point of his/her not being phased by much, never have been troubled by bad experiences, never experiencing any struggle he/she couldn’t handle, never having been the target of malice, and so forth. As such, I thought I had a lot of growth work to do to be more like them.
I kept trying to get past the brick walls. I kept trying to have healthy, honest, transparent, collaborative dialogs. I kept looking for common ground and consensus. There were none, of significance, to be had.
Hindsight reveals a completely different perspective.
What I see clearly now is that these same people lacked in Truth and Remorse.
When a person isn’t concerned with truth or remorse, there is no getting through to him or her. It is figuratively trying to push through a brick wall.
I have spent too much of my life trying to communicate with people who don’t tell the truth or feel remorse. I subjected myself to malicious behaviors for literally decades. What a shame.
Once I recognized who I actually had been dealing with, people who lacked in truth and remorse, it actually brought me some relief!
Of course a person without truth or remorse isn’t going to relate to me nor understand my experiences. Of course a person without truth or remorse isn’t going to want to allow me to speak; and if they do, of course they are going to mock me, smear my character, lie to me and lie about me. Of course a person without truth or remorse doesn’t want me to know them. Of course. It makes perfect sense.
Now I know what to watch out for when meeting people. I observe and pay attention to
if they can relate to me or not
their sense of responsibility and accountability
their ethics
their work environment
how they talk about people they know
who they choose to be around
what they do when alone
what and who gets their attention—and why
what they focus on and seem to care about
how they answer my questions
what they want to know about me, if anything
if they are mysterious and secretive
I don’t even bother with mysterious or secretive people
I don’t chase dangling carrots anymore.
Now I steer clear of people lacking in truth and remorse!
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