If You Were to Get the Dangling Carrot
There were people in my lifetime who I made significant, who also seemed to dangle a carrot for me to chase.
For me, a dangling carrot included
being welcomed inside of the other person’s world
being included with and collaborating with them
learning who they are on a deep and authentic level
being strong allies and sharing a trustworthy and emotionally-safe relationship
Those relationship traits are highly-valuable to me. I believed that if I obtained the dangling carrot, it would be worth all my time and effort chasing it. Also, chasing these people because of their holding the dangling carrot gave me the illusion that knowing them was highly-valuable: they held the key to what I hold dear and precious in relationships.
Not even close.
I realized what was in common with each of these people was that
They aren’t trustworthy nor emotionally-safe people—they don’t operate that way, they don’t care about such things
Being included and getting to know them on a deeper level would have revealed to me that they were any or all of the following:
insincere
immature, shallow, and with superficial interests and mindsets
selfish and self-absorbed
corrupt, disturbing and/or creepy
manipulative and exploitative
rageful
shameful about what they care about and what they do in secret
Anyone who dangles a carrot, does it for a few sketchy reasons:
they don’t want to be found out
they like the attention they get from your interest in, and chasing, them
it gives them the illusion of power and control…over you
In other words, their dangling carrot is rotten and nasty. No one in their right mind would want the rotten carrots these people dangle.
Don’t chase people who aren’t forthright, honest and sincere. Your time, energy and attention are precious. Authentic and sincere people who are worth your interest don’t dangle carrots.
Do you need coaching? Please contact me. I’d love to help you.