Who’s Your Cup-of-Tea?

I originally wrote this article on February 15, 2012.

For the first 40 years of my life, I tried so hard to be liked by everyone. And I wanted so badly to like everyone.

Being “nice”, friendly, outgoing, conforming, a “good” listener, a “good girl”, required so much energy from me.  It also required ignoring my own needs, my own instincts, who I was.  I usually put myself on the back-burner.

No matter how hard I tried, there were always people who didn’t like me, who were mean to me, and who upset me.  This perplexed me since I tried so hard to like and be likeable!

As I began caring for myself, I came to the conclusion that I simply am not everyone’s cup-of-tea.  And not everyone is my cup-of-tea.

Once I recognized that, I felt so free to be myself.  I could just simply feel what I felt, do what I was drawn to do, say what I wanted to say; and those who enjoyed me would stick around. Those who did not would leave.  Easy!

If I was uncomfortable with someone, for whatever reason, I simply didn’t have to be around them or talk to them.

With this mindset, there are no hard feelings. This is a way of living that allows myself and others to choose our own experiences.

This takes the pressure off of my being something I am not, and of my being responsible for figuring out what others need–which was never my responsibility in the first place.

I respect when others decide they don’t want me in their lives due to respecting themselves. And I trust they will find people who better match who they are and their own needs. I give myself the same respect and trust as well.

Allow yourself to be around people who are your cup-of-tea and who find you to be their cup-of-tea as well.  It creates so much ease in life.

Warmly,